Top O’ the Muffin to Ya

muffin top

My muffin-top is annoying me. I don’t know what to even do with it anymore. Do I buy a pair of “Mom Jeans” and tuck it in? Do I buy a pair of low-riders and just let it spill over the top all willy nilly? I don’t even know. And somehow, while I was busy eating raw cookie dough, my muffin-top seems to have joined forces with my back fat. The two of them are in complete cahoots, always hanging out together, causing problems and making me look like crap in my clothes. I’m hoping they can at least stay on their side of the fence and not go roaming around looking for new friends because I have two saddle bags that would just love to get in on the action. I’m blaming all this on this horrendous winter. There was literally nothing to do but eat! And shovel the roof. And seriously, if I’m going to be shoveling off a roof, don’t you think it’s important to carb up first? I actually only shoveled off the roof twice, but I totally carb-loaded in the days and weeks leading up to it just so I would be totally prepared.

Not to worry though…because I just ordered the Body Beast Workout by Beach Body. “Go from regular Joe to jacked… Ho-hum to hottie in 90 days flat!” Sign me up! Only two easy payments of $19.99? Even better. I’m so excited. Almost as excited as I was when I bought the Insanity workout… and the T25 program. But this is different because this time I’m not just excited, but I’m SUPER excited. There’s a difference. Plus the Insanity workout really was totally insane. The 5-minute warm up alone was enough to make a grown man declare that he was in the worst shape of his life and quit right there on the spot. T25 was good. It was only 25 minutes long. It was really good…why didn’t I stick with that one? I can’t remember. I’m sure I had a good reason. But that is all neither here nor there because I’m going to be a hottie in 90 days. Flat. That is just in time for bathing suit season.

I figured I would sort of track my progress here. The way I see it, if I’m just doing the workout on my own, then I can quit at any time and it won’t really matter too much. I will forgive myself and will most likely buy myself a prize of some sort to make me feel better (because I’m wicked nice like that.) But the thought of being publicly humiliated, labeled a quitter, and shunned from society for the rest of my life might keep me on track. So I’m going to go that route. As soon as I can fit back into my “fat jeans” I will let you know.

psssst… don’t forget to check out the right-hand nav and click on the ads of some of my favorite peeps!

2 thoughts on “Top O’ the Muffin to Ya

  1. I read this after I got back from the gym…ugh! You know, the place with all the freakin mirrors. I mean seriously…mirrors. Who wants to see all that! Seriously though, thanks for the laughs…I feel my abs getting tighter every time I come here. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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