I have this book I need to tell you about.
Funny as in “are the back of my pants wet because I just peed myself” kind of funny. It’s called The Science of Parenthood: Thoroughly Unscientific Explanations for Utterly Baffling Parenting Situations. OMG, I know, right?! And it’s PINK! Which takes it to a whole new level in my mind. It’s written by Norine Dworkin-McDaniel & Jessica Ziegler…and you HAVE to read it. I really must insist.
And because it’s just the kind of gal I am, I will even follow you around town giving you little ideas of how you could squeeze some reading time into your busy day. Like, for example, how you could flip through the book while you are waiting in the pick-up line at school, or how you could pour yourself a glass of wine after a long day and sit in a comfy chair to do a little reading. Nice, right?
Basically I’m planning to be all up in your grill about this amazing pink book…and it’s going to go down something like this:
I love this book!
This book I love
You HAVE to read this book I love!
You could read it while in line,
Or read it while you’re drinking wine. (See what I’m doing here? Dr. Seuss?)
Perhaps when someone takes a nap,
or someone snuggles on your lap.
Could you read while going poo?
Or looking for a missing shoe?
You could read while drinking tea!
Try it! Try it! You will see!
You could read it in your house,
You could read with your pet mouse.
Hey, maybe while you’re wiping snot?
Or while you’re hiding things you bought?
You could read it lying down,
or read while you adjust your crown. (you know, just in case Princess Kate decides to pick up a copy.)
You could read it here or there,
Say! You could read it anywhere!
At this point you will be compelled to head to the store
just to shut me up to pick up a copy of this fabulous book, and you will read it and you will laugh uproariously. Then you will buy copies for all your friends and they too will laugh uproariously. And there will be uproarious laughter throughout the town. The next time you see me in the pick-up line at school you will rush over to my car and tell me how you are forever in my debt for suggesting this book to you. Then you’ll give me a present. And a box of candy. And you will announce to all who will listen:
I do so love pink books and wine!
I do! I love them, friend of mine!
And I will read while I’m in line,
and I will read while drinking wine.
And I will read while my kids nap,
and when they’re sitting on my lap.
And I will read while going poo,
and looking for my missing shoe.
And I will read while drinking tea,
Say! Won’t you come and read with me?
I will read in my own house,
I will read with my pet mouse.
I will read while wiping snot,
And while I’m hiding things I bought.
I will read while lying down,
and fixing up my shiny crown.
I will read it here or there,
Say! I will read it anywhere!
Oh, I do love Science of Parenthood!
This book! This book! It is so good!!
Here are links so you can check out The Science of Parenthood online.
Here is an example of the hilarity you are in for: