Bring Back My Pumpkin Coffee


The Dunkin Donuts down the street from me no longer has Pumpkin Spice Swirl Coffee. I found this out the hard way when I went through the drive-thru to get me some of that magical elixir (and one for my friend, Jen) and they told me that they no longer had it. The conversation went something like this:

Me (a smile in my voice): I’ll have a medium hot pumpkin swirl coffee.

Them: We no longer have pumpkin swirl.

Me (confusion in my voice): Like, you’re out of it today?

Them: No, we no longer have it.

Me (desperation creeping into my voice): Like, I should come back tomorrow if I want it?

Them: No, we are done for the season.

Me (shock heavy in my words): You mean done for the WEEK?

Them: No. The season.

Me (voice heavy with unshed tears): The ENTIRE season? Like, that’s it?

Them: Yes

Me (OMG, am I crying?): It’s over?

Them: Yes. It’s over. There is no more this season.

WHAAATTT?! What are they talking about “done for the season”? What season? The Winter season? Is that the season to which they are referring? Because last time I checked we are thick in the middle of “the season.” I wait all year for the Pumpkin Spice Swirl Season. ALL YEAR. I start getting it in my iced coffee in September when it is certainly far too hot out to be drinking a hot coffee (but if they only offered it in hot coffee then I would order a hot coffee because THAT is how much I love it. I would burn my tongue and scorch my insides voluntarily for that sweet. sweet coffee.) Who decided that January ends “the season”? It’s the dead of Winter. The days are still short. It’s still dark out at 5:00.  It’s freezing! Well, maybe it is not freezing THIS year, but it was freezing last year. And it will probably be freezing next year. This year is a fluke. A one off. An unseasonably warm Winter. But so what? So my entire coffee drinking experience has to be ruined? What about February? The shortest yet possibly coldest month of the year? What am I supposed to drink then? REGULAR coffee? Like I’m some sort of animal? As if I’m so desperate for a warm beverage that I will drink virtually ANYTHING?! I don’t think so. Regular coffee can kiss my ass.

The real kicker is that I decided long ago that beverages do not count towards my daily calorie intake. Basically I could put down two Pumpkin Swirls a day and I would bat nary an eye. NARY AN EYE I TELL YOU!

If there is no Pumpkin Spice Swirl then there is no Pumpkin Spice Swirl. Fine. I’m sure with some heavy duty counseling I will eventually get over it. But next year I’m going to arrange a meeting with my Dunkin Donuts friends and see if we can’t work out some sort of Pumpkin Spice Swirl arrangement.

Until then I will be slowly working through the five stages of grief (I am currently in the anger phase.)

And drinking freaking tea.

mad face

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