I’m Going On A Cruise

I’m going on a cruise. Today. By the time you read this I will be T minus 2 hours from leaving for the airport (that’s if you dropped everything and read this immediately after you saw I posted it. Which I assume you did.) I can’t tell at this point if I’m totally excited, or completely freaking out. All I know is that I am a ball of nervous energy and I feel like I’m going to throw up.

I’m going on this cruise without my kids.

I’m going on this cruise without my husband.

I’m going on this cruise with my friends.

Oh my God, I’m so freaking excited. And yet, as I mentioned, somewhat aghast that I am actually doing this.

My husband hasn’t gone away for a long weekend in a while, but there was a time, when the kids were all littler, that he would go away once a year for a ski vacation with his brothers and some of their friends.

I don’t remember him pacing the floor like I have been doing. I don’t remember him thinking that maybe he suddenly has the stomach bug, or the flu. I don’t remember any kind of emotional freak out at all.

Clearly we handle this kind of thing totally differently.

Observe…

 

ME:

October: OMIGOD!! I booked a cruise! With just my fellow moms. No kids. NO. KIDS! Wheeee! I can’t believe it! I can’t wait! This is the best thing I’ve ever done. I. Can’t. Wait.

November: My cruise is in 4 months. FOUR!!! I can barely sleep at night I’m so excited! I can’t stop imagining just lying on a lounge chair, sipping a fancy drink, perusing through a gossip mag, and chatting and laughing with my friends. No kids to worry about. No one to take to the bathroom 8 gazillion times. No one who is hungry but hates all the food that is offered. No one having a meltdown because they are overtired. I can’t wait. This is the best thing I’ve ever done.

December: 3 months until my cruise. I’m practically giddy! Should probably start my diet…but that would be ridiculous to start during the holiday season. Yea, I’ll def start my diet after the new year. I can’t believe I’m going on a cruise! Moms only!! This is the best thing I’ve ever done!

January: 2 months away. Sailing to the Bahamas. Blue water, sunny skies. No kids. I’m so excited that I can’t stop eating! No worries, I can get myself into tip top shape in 2 months. Easy peasy. This is the best thing I’ve ever done.

February: My cruise is next month! This doesn’t even seem real! I’m so lucky! I’m so happy! I’m so excited! Wow, February is a REALLY short month. I should def start eating better. I’ll start next week. This is the best thing I’ve ever done.

March: My cruise is at the end of the month? 30 days? How did that creep up on me? I’m so excited! I can probably still lose 10 pounds if I try really hard. Most of it is water weight anyways. Probably.

End of March: Oh. My. God. I’m going on a cruise in ONE week?! Why am I doing this? What was I thinking? I’m not ready! I’m not prepared! The kids have school, and sports, and homework, and all kinds of stuff. I need to make a list. I need to make a schedule. My poor husband. How is he going to do it all? HOW? Wait, calm down. I do it all. He can do it all. He’s not even worried or concerned. He’s just like, “write stuff down so I know where to be.” Okay. Don’t panic. Shit…I’m panicking. Why did I think this was a good idea? Why? There is so much to prepare. Soccer is starting. Baseball is starting. Everyone needs their respective sports clothes, and cleats, and shin guards… I’m going to have to do all the laundry in the house. It is the only way. And I need to grocery shop so that there is plenty of food. And I need to scrub the whole house top to bottom so that it is more organized and everyone can find what they need.  Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit.  My car! It is a disaster! I need to clean the whole thing out. I was supposed to get an oil change and get my tires rotated. Damn it! There is no time! What if I forget something?! What if I leave a loose end that needs to be tied up?! What. Was. I. Thinking?! This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.

 

 

HIM:

October: Oh, by the way, my ski weekend is booked.

November:

December:

January:

February: (Throws a few items into a bag) Alrighty, see you Sunday night. Kiss.

 

 

 

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