Here You Go, Redbox…Take My Money


This time it will be different.

This time is not going to be like the last time. Or the time before that. And definitely not like the time before THAT.

This time when I rent a Redbox movie I’m going to return it promptly the next day. This time it is going to cost me $1.25. That’s it. Not a penny more. See, that’s supposed to be the beauty of Redbox. You can rent a movie for less than a cup of coffee. It’s like a no brainer. Well, at least it is supposed to be like a no brainer. They even make it so easy by placing the big red boxes everywhere. And you don’t even have to go into the store to return the movie like you used to have to do in the old days when the Redboxes first came out. Now the big red box is right there on the outside of the store. It’s easy…

…except it’s not.

Do you have any idea how much money I spend on late Redbox movies? Sure it’s only a measly $1.25 per day, but I absolutely never return it the next day. Not on purpose…it just absolutely never happens. So right off the bat we’re talking a minimum of $2.50 to have the movie for two days. Still not so bad. Except that I usually get a code texted to me for a free rental for one day. A free rental! How can I not take advantage of Redbox’s generosity? It would be rude not to. So I usually get a second movie, and return it late with the first movie. And once I’m into the second day with both movies still in my possession I know that I will be hit with a charge of $3.75. Which is actually still not bad….if I returned them on that second day. But I don’t. By day three I’m out $6.25. By day four: $8.75 for two stupid movies that weren’t even that great. Instead of being returned to their rightful place, both movies remain safely sitting in two different DVD players at my house for days on end. Out of sight, out of mind. The fact that I have two movies to return never even crosses my mind until I’m in the center of town and I see the big red box outside of CVS and then I’m like, “Omigod! The movies!” I resolve that the minute I get home I will get both of those movies out of the DVD players and put them in my car. I even make a note in the note section of my phone (which I always forget to look at.) By day six I make good on my promise and I do indeed put both movies in my car…where they remain for about 3 more days until I remember that they are in there and need to be returned. At this point I know that I’m going to be out over 20 bucks. And here’s the thing: at some point, when you have kept the movie for enough days that you owe the actual price of the movie, they charge you that price and the movie is yours to keep.

So now I have to try to figure out where I am in the actual cost of the movie.

Am I more than 1/2 way to the final cost? If so, then it’s much more sensible to just keep the movie instead of returning it and paying all that money for nothing. That would be foolish. Sometimes I have no choice but to decide that it makes way more economical sense to keep the movies and pay the price.

I should never be allowed to rent another movie from Redbox again.

But I do. Because it’s so easy. And it’s so convenient. And it’s only $1.25 a day. That’s the beauty of Redbox. You can rent a movie for less than a cup of coffee. It’s like a no brainer…